Conflicts! You Don"t Have to Avoid Them
Are you avoiding having that one particular conversation with someone because you believe it will end in conflict? Here are two ways that will help you overcome your anxieties.
I.
Embrace Conflict When we speak of conflict, no one likes it; it's too uncomfortable.
However, if you wish to have your concerns or your position heard, you're going to have to suffer some discomfort-at least at first.
Have you ever been in a situation where you had to confront a person and became anxious about how they would accept what you were about to dish out? It is at that moment in-which you are being or about to be totally honest.
With time, you'll be able to accept and embrace conflict realizing that you're moving in the right direction.
I'm not suggesting that you get used to conflict; no one ever does.
But, conflict without an uncomfortable feeling is not real.
It's the one sure way you--and your adversary will know that you're being totally honest.
II.
Trusting in Conflict Situations Typically, when two people really trust each other, they are comfortable in their vulnerabilities around each other.
It's because they've gained confidence in knowing that they can have conflict without it destroying their relationship.
In fact, couples who demonstrate good conflict skills are able to solve more problems and can get more accomplished than couples who avoid conflict altogether.
Achieving a vulnerability-based trust can be difficult because people tend to do what they do best when confronted with a conflicting situation; acting out in the manner of a person bothered by it or offended.
Remember I did say it will be uncomfortable, but you're going to have to push against the fence and get through it.
A word of advice; getting to this level of trust can't be accomplished immediately.
Sometimes, it'll take more than one conversation for some couples to get it.
Remember, these behaviors were not established overnight and they won't change overnight.
It's a step-by-step process that will require a great amount of discipline as the two of you hold each other accountable.
You must act like a team that have the same desires and share the same goals.
In the end, when couples are comfortable with their vulnerability being exposed, they act without the need to be defensive and are able to openly accept feedback from each other.
You'll be able to offer suggestions, and they'll be ready to listen with an eagerness and readiness to take on future issues that might arise in your relationship.
I.
Embrace Conflict When we speak of conflict, no one likes it; it's too uncomfortable.
However, if you wish to have your concerns or your position heard, you're going to have to suffer some discomfort-at least at first.
Have you ever been in a situation where you had to confront a person and became anxious about how they would accept what you were about to dish out? It is at that moment in-which you are being or about to be totally honest.
With time, you'll be able to accept and embrace conflict realizing that you're moving in the right direction.
I'm not suggesting that you get used to conflict; no one ever does.
But, conflict without an uncomfortable feeling is not real.
It's the one sure way you--and your adversary will know that you're being totally honest.
II.
Trusting in Conflict Situations Typically, when two people really trust each other, they are comfortable in their vulnerabilities around each other.
It's because they've gained confidence in knowing that they can have conflict without it destroying their relationship.
In fact, couples who demonstrate good conflict skills are able to solve more problems and can get more accomplished than couples who avoid conflict altogether.
Achieving a vulnerability-based trust can be difficult because people tend to do what they do best when confronted with a conflicting situation; acting out in the manner of a person bothered by it or offended.
Remember I did say it will be uncomfortable, but you're going to have to push against the fence and get through it.
A word of advice; getting to this level of trust can't be accomplished immediately.
Sometimes, it'll take more than one conversation for some couples to get it.
Remember, these behaviors were not established overnight and they won't change overnight.
It's a step-by-step process that will require a great amount of discipline as the two of you hold each other accountable.
You must act like a team that have the same desires and share the same goals.
In the end, when couples are comfortable with their vulnerability being exposed, they act without the need to be defensive and are able to openly accept feedback from each other.
You'll be able to offer suggestions, and they'll be ready to listen with an eagerness and readiness to take on future issues that might arise in your relationship.