You are circling the parking lot of the mall for the third time, trying to find a place to park, dodging screaming children, harried shoppers, and the infinite groups of teenagers, as the question crosses your mind, "What is the point of all this?" Surely if someone from a foreign country were to look down on all this, they might think that we had all been possessed by some insatiable desire to shop, race around, become irritable, and maybe even be cruel to each other.
And why are we doing all of this? Oh yes, it is the holiday season.
While the tendency to lose sight of what the holidays represent is not foreign to any of us, preventing the effects of losing sight often is.
As we race around, fighting off throngs of people, desperate for the latest ipod, iphone, X-box, or Nintendo, we often find ourselves becoming more stressed, pressured, cranky, and less, shall we say, festive? And, as well know, we might also find ourselves 15 pounds heavier.
Now we really have something to be upset about.
Clearly, the purpose of the holiday season is not to gain weight, or be upset for that matter.
But this is, unfortunately, one of the effects of losing sight of what the holidays represent.
How do we prevent this, you ask.
The losing sight part, or the weight gain part, I ask.
Actually, they are one in the same.
As we become aware of what the holidays are actually supposed to represent, weight gain doesn't happen.
Think about this for just a minute.
If the holidays represent generosity (giving), connecting with family and friends, and commemoration (sharing memories and accomplishments with those close to us), would we say we feel the most generous when we are stuffing our face with chocolate cake? What about connection? Would we say we feel most connected to others when we are digging feverishly for the bottom of the Ben and Jerry's container? And what about commemoration? Would we say that we feel the most commemorative when we are on our fourth serving of grandma's lovely pumpkin pie? If you are like most people, you probably answered no to all of these questions, and are even shocked at the suggestion.
But it is true, that the holidays do represent generosity, connection, and commemoration.
So why is it that we celebrate them by gaining weight? Well probably, we have lost sight of the ways we can be generous, connect with others, and commemorate our accomplishments and memories.
In order to prevent this then, we have to return to the ways that we actually feel the most generous, connected, and commemorative.
So ask yourself, when do you feel the most generous? Is it helping a loved one? Or maybe helping those who cannot help themselves? Maybe visiting an older relative you haven't seen in years? Or possibly donating your services to someone who needs it? While ways to be generous will likely be different for each person, the concept is not.
But in case you are stuck, here are some examples of ways to be generous: •Offer your time to a homeless shelter •Visit a senior care center •Donate to the Make A Wish Foundation •Give away unwanted clothes, household items and food to someone who really needs it •Offer to help someone in your family with their holiday preparations •Donate to a loved one's favorite charity as a holiday gift •Say thanks Ok, what about connected with others? Ask yourself when do you feel the most connected with others? Is it keeping a weekly appointment to spend time together? Or maybe a weekly phone call, or email for those out of the area? Or maybe participating in an activity with someone close to you? Again, we will each have our own unique way to feel connected with those close to us, but the idea remains the same.
However, we often become to bound to our responsibilities and forget the simple ways we can connect with those around us.
Here are some examples: •Call an old friend •Send an email or letter to a relative •Share pictures, and video with those close to you •Ask someone how their day was •Actively listen when you are speaking to someone •Let someone know you care about them •Let someone know how much your relationship with them means to you Lastly, what about commemorative? Ask yourself when do you feel most commemorative? Is it when you are sharing memories of the past year with a friend or relative? Is it when you writing a holiday card? Is it when you are congratulating someone for his or her accomplishments? Again, this is a concept that we each will have our own unique way of doing.
It is also something that we do not do enough.
More often than not, we rush from one goal or accomplishment to the next without ever stopping to recognize our accomplishments or those of others.
So in case you forgot how to do this, here are some examples: •Make a list of the things you appreciate about someone and give it to them •Write a living testament to a friend or relative •Make a list of the qualities you admire the most about someone and read it to them •Make a paper collage of the accomplishments of someone close to you and present it to them •Make a practice of telling each family member what qualities you most admire about them •Be specific with your compliments of others, telling them why they are good at something •Tell someone just how they helped you achieve your goals So, back to that parking lot: you are now on your fourth circle, and as your blood pressure rises, and your temper shortens, the thought crosses your mind that this doesn't feel generous, connected, or commemorative at all to you, and you turn the car around, head out of the insanity, and make a commitment to celebrate the holidays in your own way.
You determined to find your own versions of generosity, connection, and commemorative, and in doing so, also find yourself avoiding weight gain.