What To Do When Your Husband Won"t Work On Saving Your Marriage (3 Things You Must Do)
What do you do when your husband won't work on saving your marriage? I know how frustrating and hopeless it must feel to be stuck in a one-sided relationship.
So to save yourself some pain and anguish, please take my advice and do these following 3 things.
#1 To Do: Figure out what you want from your husband and your marriage.
Write a list.
When you husband won't work on your marriage, the only thing you can do is to look inwards and work on what you can change - yourself.
One way to do this, is to sit down and think hard about what you really want from your husband and your marriage.
Create a list of all the things you desire.
Once you have your list, turn each 'item' into a specific action.
For example, if you wrote "I want him to talk more", put down "I want him to talk with me for 15 minutes each day, while maintaining eye contact'.
Be as specific as you can about what you want because words like "more" are too vague, and have different meanings to each person.
#2 To Do: Write down why you want these things and why you think you deserve to have these things.
There are two reasons for this step.
The first reason is that men are logical creatures - they need reasons to do things.
At work, when he is proposing a new initiative, he needs to back it up with good reasons for going ahead with it.
Similarly, since you are proposing a change in your relationship, provide him some good reasons to do what you ask.
The reason second is: We only get what we think we deserve.
If you notice that you don't really believe that you deserve to have what you want, then you will need to convince yourself first, before you can convince your husband.
#3 To Do: Communicate what you want to your husband, and why you want these things, by writing your husband an email or letter.
Since your husband is being uncooperative, starting a conversation with him to work on your marriage might only make him close up more and even resent you.
Instead of making matters worse, I suggest you write a letter or an email to your husband so he has the time to think about his response.
The added benefits of writing a letter includes:
I am open to negotiation.
" If you don't request him to reply, he might not know what to do next.
I hope you will use these 3 suggestions on 'what to do when your husband won't work on saving your marriage' so your relationship can move forward.
So to save yourself some pain and anguish, please take my advice and do these following 3 things.
#1 To Do: Figure out what you want from your husband and your marriage.
Write a list.
When you husband won't work on your marriage, the only thing you can do is to look inwards and work on what you can change - yourself.
One way to do this, is to sit down and think hard about what you really want from your husband and your marriage.
Create a list of all the things you desire.
Once you have your list, turn each 'item' into a specific action.
For example, if you wrote "I want him to talk more", put down "I want him to talk with me for 15 minutes each day, while maintaining eye contact'.
Be as specific as you can about what you want because words like "more" are too vague, and have different meanings to each person.
#2 To Do: Write down why you want these things and why you think you deserve to have these things.
There are two reasons for this step.
The first reason is that men are logical creatures - they need reasons to do things.
At work, when he is proposing a new initiative, he needs to back it up with good reasons for going ahead with it.
Similarly, since you are proposing a change in your relationship, provide him some good reasons to do what you ask.
The reason second is: We only get what we think we deserve.
If you notice that you don't really believe that you deserve to have what you want, then you will need to convince yourself first, before you can convince your husband.
#3 To Do: Communicate what you want to your husband, and why you want these things, by writing your husband an email or letter.
Since your husband is being uncooperative, starting a conversation with him to work on your marriage might only make him close up more and even resent you.
Instead of making matters worse, I suggest you write a letter or an email to your husband so he has the time to think about his response.
The added benefits of writing a letter includes:
- being able to reorganize your thoughts
- making sure you've included all your points
- being able to re-word your sentences
- avoiding being interrupted.
I am open to negotiation.
" If you don't request him to reply, he might not know what to do next.
I hope you will use these 3 suggestions on 'what to do when your husband won't work on saving your marriage' so your relationship can move forward.