Whether you're expected to speak at a wedding (for example because you're father of the bride), you've been asked (for example, to be best man) or you simply want to (e.
g.
as the bride, or as one half of a civil partnership where it's usual for both to say something as part of the speeches after the ceremony) it's quite likely that you're feeling at least a little nervous about this.
And, if you are, that's entirely natural - it's a big day for everyone involved and you'll want to be sure it goes well.
This article helps you do just that by giving you five great ways of preparing for and delivering the perfect wedding speech.
Prepare well in advance This includes

• Finding out (if you're taking on one of the 'traditional' speech giving roles or if you've been asked to speak) what's expected of you, or (for those of you who elected to speak) clarifying why you want to - what's your core message?
• Gathering and refining your material - making sure that it will appeal to everyone and offend no one.
  Think of ways you can bring it alive and draw people in - by anecdotes (do check them out with the people they're about first! Not everyone is happy having their childhood or adolescent antics spoken about in public) or by painting a word picture appealing to all five senses.
  
• Finding out whether there will be any sound equipment you'll be expected to use and, if there is, making time to find out how to use it confidently

Practise

• Practise your wedding speech thoroughly.
  This means actually standing up and saying the words out loud, not just simply running through them in your head.
  Practising out loud helps you get your timing right, iron out any wrinkles, practise your intonation and pauses.
  It also helps you remember it and, when you stand up to deliver it, you'll be more confident knowing that you've prepared well.
  
• It's great if you can learn your speech by heart.
  The more you practise, the easier you'll find this.
  And you might want to have some cue cards handy 'just in case'.
  If you do have cue cards make sure
• They are just that - cue cards, not your whole speech
• Written in large block capitals
• They fit neatly into your pocket
• They are tied securely together in one corner (treasury tags are good for this) so they don't get muddled.
  

Remain focussed on the day This involves

• Listening to the other speakers - you might want to refer to something they mention when it's your turn to speak
• Remembering the purpose of your speech and staying true to that - it's not all about you, even if you're the ones getting married/partnered
• Limiting your alcohol intake - when you stand up, you need to be poised, confident and in control and not fuelled by Dutch Courage.
  

When you stand up to speak

• Remember to breathe - it helps!
• Smile - as you do so, you'll automatically relax and feel the audience relax with you
• Speak slowly and clearly - this is where your rehearsal time really comes into its own and helps you avoid speeding up
• Make eye contact with people in the room; make sure you involve the whole room - they want to feel you're talking to them personally
• Remember you're among family and friends so talk to them like that - you're not addressing a public meeting!

Act 'as if' you're confident No matter how you're feeling (and if you've applied the tips above you should be feeling pretty confident, and it may well be that you still have some butterflies - that's fine, you just need to get them flying in formation) if you act 'as if' you're confident then that's how you'll come across.
A bit like a swan - looking calm and serene on the outside and paddling hard underneath the water.
So, to help you act 'as if' you're confident

• Stand tall and straight and with your weight evenly distributed
• Make sure you've a glass of water handy.
  Pause to drink if you need to if, for example, if your mouth gets dry or you just need time to gather your thoughts
• Keep your breathing nicer and steady
• Pause from time to time - just as you have practised in rehearsal - for effect, to make eye contact, to gather your thoughts, to keep the pace at an engaging rate.
  

And make sure you finish with a flourish rather than petering out - then smile, thank everyone for listening and sit down.
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