Does She Love You Or Is She In Love With The Idea Of Getting Married?
Go to any bookstore or go online and see how many bridal magazines there are: Modern Bride, Elegant Bride, Brides, then there are regional and city bride magazines. There are tons of websites for brides. Now, check out all the groom magazines… Google search groom's magazines and bride's magazines show up in the search. Where are the magazines to help the groom-to-be plan the bachelor party?
It is clear that the wedding is all about the woman. From an early age, girls have been bombarded with images of weddings and marriage. The fairy tales of the kissing prince and the glorious wedding. So, she has been trained, actually brainwashed into thinking it is "her day". Guess what?...it IS her day. Dude, you are along for the ride. Taste some cake; maybe help pick the ceremony or reception location. But, for the most part, you step aside or at the very least go through the motions.
After all, you don't care much what Vera Wang like dress she gets. You don't really care if the bridesmaid's dresses are blue, yellow, green or pink. You may care about the honeymoon location, since you have been working your ass off to pay for the wedding and you need a vacation.
Maybe, you'll have some control over the bachelor party. Probably have some restrictions…the dos and don'ts from her. As if you don't have enough self control to plan a reasonable night with your buddies.
Why is it the bride-to-be always wants to lose weight before walking down the aisle? It doesn't matter how skinny she is, she still wants to shed a few pounds. Guess it's time to lose the weight before prime June wedding time rolls around, since the ads are out encouraging a weight loss. There was a recent ad aimed at helping her to fit in the two sizes smaller wedding dress.
The ad had an attractive blonde woman turned to the side holding a bouquet in her right hand, a big smile and a huge rock on her ring finger. The copy read…
"The train on my dress did not need a caboose. With my big day looming, not to mention the fitting for my dress, there was no way I was going to live heavier ever after…the only thing left to say (besides the vows) was: I am so ready for my moment! "-Dana H.
After the ring is on her finger, does she still have the same zeal to keep off those pounds?
You haven't seen determination until you watch a woman plan a wedding. After all, she has been planning this since she was little. As a girl, she was Barbie and Malibu Ken drives up in the plastic car, gets on his knee and sweeps her off her feet. Also, she may have heard talk from her mother like, "find a nice boy and settle down."
You're that nice boy in the fantasy. Next thing you know, you are slipping a ring on her finger and signing a legal document. Marriage, my friend, is a legal document that transcends the wedding day. Once the dust settles and the champagne buzz is gone, you are in it "til death do you part". The good news is that 50% of the marriages last. However, not sure how many of those couplings are a "grin and bear it" situations.
So, now that she has you, did she really want you or did she fall in love with the idea of having you? Often when the fantasy wears off and she sees the ugly reality, you may not have the shine in the light of day. As you have found out or will discover, marrying for love is often not the best reason to get married. We all want to be madly and passionately in love, but that is not enough. The question of whether the bride and groom are in love should not be a priority; what's important is that the marriage is stable with staying power.
Maybe there is something to be said for arranged marriages. At least in arranged marriages, there isn't the fantasy to get in the way. The divorce rate for arranged marriages compared to marriage for love is lower. Perhaps it is lower because parents know their children best and have the wisdom and wherewithal to select the best spouse. Also, the marriage will benefit from the support and encouragement of their elders and hence will be durable and permanently. In western culture, how often does a parent say that you are making a mistake by marrying her?
Love does grow out of arranged marriages. Just because arranged marriages are not premised exclusively on love, it doesn't mean that it does not exist in the relationship. Also today, many of the planned unions allow for the participants to have consent.
It isn't suggested that we have arranged marriages. But, it is important to understand that since marriage is a contract, love shouldn't be the only factor or the leading factor in getting married. And, as a man, you need to understand that she is taught the fantasy.
You don't want her fantasy to be your nightmare.
?
Scott www.thinkdivorceb4marriage.com
It is clear that the wedding is all about the woman. From an early age, girls have been bombarded with images of weddings and marriage. The fairy tales of the kissing prince and the glorious wedding. So, she has been trained, actually brainwashed into thinking it is "her day". Guess what?...it IS her day. Dude, you are along for the ride. Taste some cake; maybe help pick the ceremony or reception location. But, for the most part, you step aside or at the very least go through the motions.After all, you don't care much what Vera Wang like dress she gets. You don't really care if the bridesmaid's dresses are blue, yellow, green or pink. You may care about the honeymoon location, since you have been working your ass off to pay for the wedding and you need a vacation.
Maybe, you'll have some control over the bachelor party. Probably have some restrictions…the dos and don'ts from her. As if you don't have enough self control to plan a reasonable night with your buddies.
Why is it the bride-to-be always wants to lose weight before walking down the aisle? It doesn't matter how skinny she is, she still wants to shed a few pounds. Guess it's time to lose the weight before prime June wedding time rolls around, since the ads are out encouraging a weight loss. There was a recent ad aimed at helping her to fit in the two sizes smaller wedding dress.
The ad had an attractive blonde woman turned to the side holding a bouquet in her right hand, a big smile and a huge rock on her ring finger. The copy read…
"The train on my dress did not need a caboose. With my big day looming, not to mention the fitting for my dress, there was no way I was going to live heavier ever after…the only thing left to say (besides the vows) was: I am so ready for my moment! "-Dana H.
After the ring is on her finger, does she still have the same zeal to keep off those pounds?
You haven't seen determination until you watch a woman plan a wedding. After all, she has been planning this since she was little. As a girl, she was Barbie and Malibu Ken drives up in the plastic car, gets on his knee and sweeps her off her feet. Also, she may have heard talk from her mother like, "find a nice boy and settle down."
You're that nice boy in the fantasy. Next thing you know, you are slipping a ring on her finger and signing a legal document. Marriage, my friend, is a legal document that transcends the wedding day. Once the dust settles and the champagne buzz is gone, you are in it "til death do you part". The good news is that 50% of the marriages last. However, not sure how many of those couplings are a "grin and bear it" situations.
So, now that she has you, did she really want you or did she fall in love with the idea of having you? Often when the fantasy wears off and she sees the ugly reality, you may not have the shine in the light of day. As you have found out or will discover, marrying for love is often not the best reason to get married. We all want to be madly and passionately in love, but that is not enough. The question of whether the bride and groom are in love should not be a priority; what's important is that the marriage is stable with staying power.
Maybe there is something to be said for arranged marriages. At least in arranged marriages, there isn't the fantasy to get in the way. The divorce rate for arranged marriages compared to marriage for love is lower. Perhaps it is lower because parents know their children best and have the wisdom and wherewithal to select the best spouse. Also, the marriage will benefit from the support and encouragement of their elders and hence will be durable and permanently. In western culture, how often does a parent say that you are making a mistake by marrying her?
Love does grow out of arranged marriages. Just because arranged marriages are not premised exclusively on love, it doesn't mean that it does not exist in the relationship. Also today, many of the planned unions allow for the participants to have consent.
It isn't suggested that we have arranged marriages. But, it is important to understand that since marriage is a contract, love shouldn't be the only factor or the leading factor in getting married. And, as a man, you need to understand that she is taught the fantasy.
You don't want her fantasy to be your nightmare.
?
Scott www.thinkdivorceb4marriage.com